<body> Feet on the Ground, Head in the Clouds.

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Thursday, March 23, 2017

i always say life can be real simple - there are things/people that matter, and those that do not.
the only complexity is deciding what matters and what does not.


0 comments
vanna
21:32

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

A told me that i have good luck, to which i replied: you make your own luck. because good things never fall from the sky and it's up to you to make them happen. like what they say, fortune favours the bold.


0 comments
vanna
00:33

Saturday, December 12, 2015

i had an incredible year. i have been to 12  cities in 9 months, M and i are probably in the best state we have been in years, everything is alright in the office, and  i had the trip of my life in the summer.

its incredible that so many people are afraid of solo travel because there are rare instances where you can explore the limits of your abilities in a completely foreign environment. it forces you to confront everything you are skeptical of and challenges all you thought you knew about yourself. not to overly romanticize it, but it truly is only when you are comfortable being alone that you can be clear who to keep in your life.


0 comments
vanna
03:18

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

a friend of mine i haven’t seen in 5 years asked what exactly it is i do for a living when we met a month ago at an old friend’s wedding. the question was amusing because all people see are the fancy dinners, drinking, partying, and traveling i do over facebook. i think it is true that i always make it look so easy, but what is there to hide for these are the rewards i enjoy from the sheer endurance, hard work, and effort put in to the very thing that drives my hobbies and fuels me to do all the better?

people love using busy as an excuse to get out of social situations or to hold off not doing things they like. but i have 24 hours just like everyone else. so what is your excuse now?


0 comments
vanna
23:52

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

i had an incredible year. no buts. i achieved everything i set out to do at this time last year.
i made hard decisions but they were necessary ones.






















i am unbelievably happy where i am in life at the moment.

glaeser hoch - prosit neujahr :D


0 comments
vanna
00:11

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

i was doing some sightseeing in the city on monday and got an oddly familiar feeling. and then i realised it felt exactly like it did in munich - everything is intimate yet foreign, but you know its home afterall. that, and that i had all the time in the world, like those summer days spent in the englischer garten staring into the bavarian skies.




0 comments
vanna
22:57

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

its a common misconception that everyone working in human resources love people and are full of empathy and should always look out for the employees. its funny because firstly, the more people you meet and the more you find out about human nature, the more you start to hate them. besides the more cases you handle, the more skeptical you will grow and slowly you become the cold hearted bitch.

secondly, though we always try to strike a balance between siding the management and employees, it will almost always lean towards the former because these are the decision makers when it comes to your career path within the company. to put it bluntly, this function is the scapegoat for the management (bad news wise), very often hiding behind the facade of being an employee champion.

now, tell me whats this about putting the H in HR?


0 comments
vanna
19:51

Thursday, July 24, 2014

so weltmeister, birthday, wedding of a close friend, and a new job in the pipeline. i would have been drinking for 7 days straight if not for the break on sunday.

it’s incredible. it truly is. the moment goetze scored and when the final whistle went, the feeling is just..indescribable. completely unbelievable. after 24 fucking years. endlich haben wir das scheiss ding!


0 comments
vanna
23:22

Sunday, June 08, 2014

i told O about the conversation i had with M a few weeks back and he commented that i was tough. but is this not the only way to survive?

it had been fun the last 6 months. it feels good to have zero commitments again, relook at the priorities in life, and be all the more convinced that every step i take has to have my own interest at the end of the day.


0 comments
vanna
23:51

Monday, January 06, 2014

i made a couple of decisions before the year ended, but it's mostly the execution that's more tricky than the process of deciding. because afterall, you can choose to fall back on hard facts and logic when you choose, but how you carry it out has to be foolproof with planning done way ahead.

today as i sat at my desk and stared at the sheer amount of incompetency from all around, im all the more convinced i made the right choice. then i looked at a couple of old texts on my phone and the hypocrisy, and i thought damn. i must be a genius to make two right decisions.

so in the meantime, lets tango!


0 comments
vanna
22:41

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

es koennte alles so einfach sein.


0 comments
vanna
14:22

Friday, December 13, 2013

jetzt ist ja wohl alles total klar.


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vanna
20:19

Monday, September 02, 2013

the problem with going back to germany each year is that each time you visit, people expect you to be the same person that you were the previous year but you're not because people grow in different directions when they spend this much time apart. each time you take a flight back, you try to be the same person they once knew but it gets increasingly taxing as the years go by. simply because of the lack of a common experience, and it is precisely this that significantly shapes you into what you are today.

its strange that i would think that august went better than expected, and then it hit me that certain things can matter a lot more to me than i know it.


0 comments
vanna
23:27

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

today i came across the old S lanyard i was using a year back. white letters against turquoise background set in thick durable cloth. deutsche qualitaet. and that opened a floodgate of memories. silly how everything is rose tinted when we look back. but you gotta move when you know what you gotta do.


0 comments
vanna
22:20

Thursday, May 23, 2013

so i made myself a promise that i shall do whatever pleases me, and that everyone else's opinion is invalid.


0 comments
vanna
00:11

Saturday, April 06, 2013

i feel like shit. i remember promising myself that it would be just fun and games right from the start, and now i dont remember when that began to change. then all of a sudden, i am angry with myself for letting me in so deep that i dont know how to pull out anymore. or worse, not knowing if i want to.


0 comments
vanna
15:54

Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 has been good to me. too good. i finally had the heart to leave S, got a way better compensation package, am learning far more than i ever imagined at work, marked some more cities off the world map, and finally did stop being a party monster. but of course, it has been as tough as it has been good. i went for more interviews than i would care to admit, burned some bridges, and watched how my boss got fired.

i think the important thing right at the end of each year is that you're able to look back and come to terms with everything that happened over the past 12 months, and tell yourself that you've made a sound decision at that point in time and that there was no way you could have done any better than you did. you could have made a better decision on hindsight with more information, but right then at that moment, you did the best you could.

so here i am. keeping in mind where i want to be by the end of next year, but cannot be any happier than where i am now.


0 comments
vanna
23:04

Saturday, November 24, 2012

its incredible how fast the year went by. if the first half was about taking risks and trying my luck, the second half was all about pushing the limits. so as i sit in the hotel room of my fifth city in 5 months, i cannot help but breathe a little sigh of relief that however good 2012 has been, it was also trying, and that its almost over. thanksgiving thursday was spent in a fancy restaurant overlooking the sydney harbour and chalking up a 4-figure bill.


0 comments
vanna
19:49

Sunday, September 23, 2012

few people can say they know me, and i can safely say no one in my social circle knows me as well as M does. im not saying know as in what a person likes or dislikes, where we live or work, or even those anecdotes we repeat over and over again to new people we meet. i mean know as in how you are going to react in a certain situation, your family relations, your outlook on things, your childhood memories, and all the horrible things you are not able to tell anyone else.

malapascua was beautiful. the people friendly and the living simple. it was private beach and a cottage to ourselves. it was sunset at 6 and seeing no one on the streets at 9; puffy clouds in blue skies and clear waters. it was quiet with few street lightings. it was pretty much just the two of us.







3 comments
vanna
21:02

Friday, August 10, 2012

so its been a long time. and i've left S, turned 24, gone to europe for 2.5 weeks, started at the new company, and closed the first payroll run. in the numerous chats i've had with people regarding my decision to leave, i always tell them that i cannot be sure that joining H is the absolute right choice, but what is right without a doubt is choosing to leave S at this point. yet i cannot rule out the option of ever moving back to S, because you never know what the next 30 years holds, and afterall S employs half a million people worldwide.

probably the parties and drunk nights will keep happening but i think we're all beginning to feel the age and fatigue creeping up. M says this doesnt mean we're getting old, just that priorities are changing as we feel the weight of the future. so 24th was quiet and sober with packing frenzy for germany.

amsterdam was canals and windmills and wooden clogs and space muffins and expensive meals, but we only are young once, so why not. you wouldnt be refusing to pay another night's hotel and staying out late in town and sleeping overnight at the airport when you're 60.

munich was good old munich, where familiar things and people are, where i have long ceased feeling like a tourist. the 300€ story was epic though.



























0 comments
vanna
23:08

Sunday, June 24, 2012

i was looking through some pictures of munich and then it hit me why i love europe in the summer. it is the clear blue skies and the green lungs in the city, the 19th century architecture and cobbled walkways in contrast with the simple lines of modern design. it is the wide open spaces of grass, rivers, roads, and low rise buildings, the 20degrees warmth that lets you walk for endless kilometers without feeling tired. it is the rustic charms of the suburbs and the rolling landscape of wilderness when you sit on the bahn, earphones in, and stare out of the windows for hours.


0 comments
vanna
21:36

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

i told A that im leaving feeling shortchanged and extremely bitter because of how i was handled by the management in the last two years. i think its a pity that everything has to turn out the way it did, because i truly believe that this is a good company, but the management it has simply puts it to shame. T said they have created an employee unfriendly environment with no cow sense of employee retention and i have to agree. so i told N that i have not the patience to sit around and see if things change, that im young and i want to look outside and get paid for what i think im worth. S asked what is it exactly because i named so many factors but i could only say, such a decision never comes from one single reason.

i remember telling a friend over a mass and a haxn last september afternoon in a biergarten that im not sure if i will be back in munich next year because it would be my fourth time and there is frankly, not so much to see anymore. but november came and went and as half of 2012 is quickly disappearing, it hit me that making the trip this year is different from all the previous years because this time, it is more of wanting to see someone than actually doing real traveling and experiencing cities.

so there. this summer. europe and a new job.


0 comments
vanna
23:53

Sunday, May 27, 2012

i know a lot of people who would disagree with me going to europe this july, because quite honestly, given the whole work situation, it really would have been a more logical choice to hold off traveling plans. but then i remember that work and money is not what life is all about. there are 40 years ahead where i will spend pursuing my career. even in the worse of situations, what is losing a couple of months or even a year?

so i bought my ticket, feeling the exhilaration of youth, impulse, adventure, and the freedom of having made my choice.


0 comments
vanna
02:31

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

sometimes the most logical and predictable act is still capable of drawing the biggest surprise and denial. so i told K i cannot be happier for her, because given the same situation and opportunity, anyone would make the same decision. they can wax lyrical about how great the place is on the whole or how they can change things for the better, but when its all said and done, nothing is more satisfying than telling them, fuck off, this is for treating me like crap.


0 comments
vanna
01:20

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

so its all about taking the leap and having the courage to go for what you want. you can say we're all happy for L because he is finally chasing after his dreams and like he aptly put it, there is no other job that allows you to have your breakfast in tokyo and party the night away in paris. there is no telling of the result, but it is always better to try and fail than not trying and never knowing what might have been. this might be the prerogative of the young when they have the time to make mistakes, but i think anyone at any stage in their lives should never be afraid to do the same, because in the end it is one man for himself, and it is afterall in the pursuit of your goals that keep you young as you discover and rediscover yourself.


0 comments
vanna
00:15

Thursday, March 01, 2012

i think its terrible how difficult it is sometimes to be honest with yourself. you might be able to convince everyone else around you with the lies and excuses, but the biggest hurdle is still yourself. so as i trawl the webpages for flight prices this time, i could not and did not want to know the reason anymore. because i've had 3 different reasons the last 3 years and this year, i will not make up any.


0 comments
vanna
23:41

Thursday, February 23, 2012

as i inch towards my mid-twenties, i cant help but look back at my early twenties. it was a period defined by loads of traveling, discovering myself, meeting new people, renewing friendships, completing a degree, and learning hard truths along the way. so the most important one i learnt is to not hold my breath, coz time does not wait.


0 comments
vanna
00:07

Thursday, February 09, 2012

in the days that i came back from europe last september i thought a lot about M, and it scares me because this could potentially lead to breaking down the very set of beliefs i have been holding on to in almost my entire life. and whats even scarier is that im not sure if there is still an option of turning back at this point.


0 comments
vanna
00:14

Friday, February 03, 2012

today we were talking about relocation again and it surprised me that people have so many reservations about simply uprooting their life and resettling in again in a foreign land. it could be the relationships they have to leave behind, the fear of facing the unknown alone, or something as simple as missing the familiar food and places they grew up with. it is especially hard for me to understand not only because i have no commitments, but also because for me there is nothing more exhilarating and challenging and fulfilling to explore new things and to build up everything from scratch. the new doesnt always have to mean good, but how is it possible to know the good without experiencing the shit?

so i finally said that location is not an issue because when you go to a city, you never plan for a permanent stay. if its a less developed place, you will suck it up and learn to appreciate the things you always complained about back home; if its a more developed place, you will love it but the expensive cost of living will take its toll. so in the end, its pretty much what you make of your own situation. the point is to see as much of the world as possible, isn't it?


0 comments
vanna
00:37

Thursday, January 12, 2012

and suddenly i realize that im only 23 and should these 2 years with this company be a complete waste, so be it because im young and i have the luxury of time to make mistakes. after all, even if it take another 8 years to get to managerial level, i would only be 30 or so. so i told Y, should i choose to switch careers then, another 10 years would only make me 40 and i have still time on my side.

finally i told myself, fuck it. coz there will be a time when i will have to worry about whether i have enough money to pay my rent and for retirement, and there will be a time when i have to weigh my career options carefully. but the time is definitely not now. for youth is the time when you should try and fail and fall and pick yourself up because you will not have the time or energy 20 years later.


0 comments
vanna
22:08

Saturday, December 31, 2011

i think the biggest takeaway this year was that i finally could see clearly who are the people who matter to me. the acquaintances and the colleagues and the boys come and go, but you know you're in for the long haul if physical distance and personal circumstances no longer keep you apart. and this, you can only tell with time.

you know how someone becomes a yardstick for everyone else you meet?
thats it.

i got an email from T explaining about september, and i honestly do not give two shits about it. any form of closure is completely unnecessary for me simply because im just not that kind of person. to the extent that sometimes even i find it scary how easily i can move on. but its amusing how he thought he must have broken my heart into a million pieces when in fact, i've learnt the same lesson from the biggest mistake i made in 2010.

so bring on 2012, lets roll.


0 comments
vanna
01:01