Wednesday, December 31, 2003
so.its that time of the year again.you know,just before you toss the old calender down the trash.the time when u sit down quietly and look back through the tunnel of time.year in,year out,its the same routine.the location may change.instead of the study,it may be at somebody else's house,the beach,and the list goes on.but one thing remains constant - the look back.i run through the year that is about to become history.the highs,the lows,the so-sos.and of coz the most important questions: what have i achieved this year.i set some targets,make a couple of resolutions,break them the next day.you know how these things go...
well as far as i can see,its definitely not that great a year.lets start with the world affairs.when time magazine picked its people of the year as not statesmen or scientists,but soldiers,it shows what a sorry state the world is in.we spent the first quarter of the year waiting for the war and the rest of the year wondering when and how it would end.iraq,from a birthplace of human civilization,has come to symbolize terror,greed,and the limits of reason.when we werent watching the war,we were trying to stave off sars,and waiting for the light at the end of the long economic tunnel.even mr lee kuan yew looked for once his age as his wife lay in hospital.and two iranian twins who came in hope of better lives stayed long enough to win our hearts and left in coffins.
soccer wise,its far from a good year.and a year the sport will be glad to see the back of.the death of cameroon international marc-vivien foe after he collapsed on the pitch during a match against colombia mark a bad year for the world's most popular sport.things got no better when fifa president blatter admitted that soccer faced a growing prob with doping and is no longer 'clean'.it was also hit by a rape scandal in grosvenor's house hotel.and the high profile dope testing row of ferdinand now.leeds are currently facing debts of around £80million.chelsea had debts of £60million until russian billionaire abramovich appeared.one man with plenty of money is the world's most famous player,becks,who moved from man utd to real madrid for £25million and quickly earned his new club even more as 2 million of his shirts were sold.
now,for myself,much as i do not wanna admit,i've achieved little academic wise and i shall spare you the details to prevent this from turning out into an unpleasant entry.its been a tough year for me as well.8 core subjects to concentrate on.thats really something to adapt to.and yeah im still coming along.a new group of friends in a new class.thats fine too.i think they've somehow helped in making me pull through this year.you know what,i suddenly realize that i can go on and on about public affairs,but when i started on ths paragraph about myself,it seems painfully hard to find the right words to say.feeling the strain in every sentence..even now.maybe its just that i've gone through so much that i cant even figure out where to begin.well nevermind,i shall proceed.in terms of cca,we've undeniably come a long way.POP and taking over in july,the farewell party,no longer able to be cadets that could shirk our responsibilities.then theres ndp03 where the hours of saturdays seemed to drag on forever.especially the ones under the sun in the field.and also where break time flies past in the blink of an eye.plus a drastic turn of things at home which were once thought to be rosy.and learning that we should cherish everything.living life in every breath we take.
its been a downright grueling year and the people i've met along the way have somewhat moulded me into a different person though it dosesnt appear so on the surface as i try to remain the same for those around me.still the jackass piece of shit that craps around and screw things up.and thats something im not gonna change for anyone.but perspectives have changed and a very different view of things is seen through the eyes.thots not showing,merely keeping them down and laughing them off.before i end,i wanna say that my memory of the year award goes to ndp03.its really a goddamn fucking awesome experience of a lifetime.cheerios!
(Hope.It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.And it is an indulgence I have no time for.)
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vanna
00:04
Friday, December 26, 2003
lost...?even the last holiday of the yr has came and gone.and now,there is nothing left to look forth to.what left behind 7 weeks before must be picked up again in a few days time.and i do not deny a reluctance to do so.so gotten used to the late nights spent online and late breakfasts.simply doing nothing and just lazing around the house..homework left to complete at my own free time.yet all these are not made to last for they are just twisted perceptions of happiness.and soon,you will plunge straight back to where you were.mercilessly left to fight what you fear.
theres a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.you always know where its leading to.it starts with the honeymoon year,then the streaming year,followed by the year you have to adapt to subject changes,then it ends at a crossroad where you take the exams and it determines where you go next.so systematic.seemingly so easy for an onlooker.yet it takes one hell of guts to step onto the path and take your first step.and a whole lot more mental strength to carry on after that.
went back to look at the archives of my blog.especially the ones during ndp.and its surprising how they brought back waves of emotions,yet little of memories.no.,im not guilty or anything.just plain amazed at how fast things you thought you could remember for the rest of your life are forgotten so quickly.not a few years,in fact just a matter of months.yeah it conjures up a tinge of nostalgia,but no longer the hoo-ah kinda feeling.just that you know you've been there and done that.simple as that.had a thought provoking message left at the tagboard not too long ago: looking back once in awhile is good,but fall not into the trap of living in the past.
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vanna
17:09
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
four interesting patrons of picnic food court.two obsessed with their gameboys, one also 'rolling' about in his heelys,the other making funny expressions while deeply engrossed in his electronic game.one loud mouthed,and one who cant seem to understand why they attracted stares and drew laughter from the two strangers who happened to sit beside them.
walking up and down orchard road a few times in search for the perfect gift.stopped by weird promoters doing some kind of xmas package sale.lines of 'would you like to make a donation' used once too many.xmas deco lights hang overhead from lamp posts to lamp posts.extensively decorated buildings.both interior and xterior.a brief and coincidental meeting with a long lost friend.rain falling from the sky at the perfect timing-when a bite of ice-cream was melting away in the mouth..damn.
it rained through the afternoon.droplets of rain pelted against the window of the bus.looking out,i saw that it was only a light drizzle.but strangely enough,the sky was overcast.rolling dark clouds and an occasional clap of thunder.it reminded me of winter in the big apple.there,the drizzle would fall as snow as the night drags on.and by morning,the ground would be covered with dirty snow.there,the day is much shorter than the night.by 1600h+,darkness would start settling in and shops would close early.i wonder how is the xmas tree outside of rockefeller center decorated this year.and if the skating rink outside is still as crowded.times square's bustling broadway.of coz not forgetting the traditional ball drop there on new year's eve and fireworks in central park.travelling in the ever so crowded subway.be there once,and xmas will never be the same again.
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vanna
18:28
Monday, December 22, 2003
man utd tops the table with 40points.top for xmas!one ahead of arsenal and chelsea,gaining 3points after a 2-1 win over tottenham (with ferdinand in the squad)in a what turned out to be a less than inspiring game.chants of 'we hate FIFA and the FA' rang around the stadium as the game seemed to be something of a sideshow.and other than o'shea's opening goal after 15mins and nistelrooy's deflected 25th min effort,utd was not at their best.poyet scored in the 63rd min,but the truth was that tottenham wasnt good enough to build on the lifeline poyet gave them and utd held on for a comfortable victory.man of the match goes to giggs.the winger was a constant threat to tottenham's defense.and the pass for nistelrooy's goal was classy alrite.'nuff said.
xmas draws near.yet the festive season seems to be lacking in something this year.the spirit of giving and sharing just doesnt surface.a force is pulling me back,restraining me.inability 2 identify this invisible power will result in a not-so-good xmas.n thats not the way to end of the year.maybe its just the thought of going back to school again in a few days time after xmas.the thought of the upcoming o levels,release of the chinese o's results,uncertainty.. hmm perhaps thats whats been holding me back.perhaps i should just let go and sink in with the bustling joyous crowd and slowly drown under their influence.
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vanna
11:22
Sunday, December 21, 2003
totally,utterly,absolutely awesome.lotr:rotk is definitely the best of the trilogy,surpassing the first two films by quite a distance.its epic.its moving.the action and violence is more intense.and the battle of gondor was truly spectacular on the big screen.i think jackdon should be commended for taking a much beloved literary work and transforming it into a fantastic film trilogy.each one was great,delving more and more into the fantasy world of middle earth and studying the complex relationships of its main characters.
in this final film,the scene opens with a flashback of smeagol obtaining the one ring of power and an origin of his deterioration into the creature gollum.frodo and sam journey closer to mount doom with the ever so deceiving gollum as their guide.the ring corrupts frodo more and more as each day passes.the both barely have food or water left,and gollum constantly takes advantage of the vulnerable frodo.sam struggles to protect frodo from the ring's power and from gollum who is leading them int a trap.meanwhile,war has broken out in middle earth.legolas,gimli and aragorn are reunited with merry and pippin,along with the wise gandalf.thru an interesting turn of events,sauron thinks that pippin has the ring so he takes off with gandalf to gondor which is currently getting ready to fight against the increasingly evil forces.the current leader of gondor denethor has gone over the deep end into madness over the news of boromir's death.he wishes that faramir was dead instead of boromir.denethor also will not hand over gondor to aragorn who is the rightful king.the riders of rohan,eomer,theoden,and the remaining fellowship members prepare to come to gondor's aid knowing full well that they are outnumbered.aragorn journeys into a cursed mountain along with gimli and legolas to find more soldiers.there they meet the king of the dead who is hesitant in helping them.frodo and sam,now practically crawling,continue their journey to destroy the ring.their friendship is put to test while evil forces surround them constantly.gondor is under attack and everyone comes to fight united.the ultimate battle for middle earth has begun.
the acting is fantastic just like the previous two.sean astin stands out as the good natured sam,playing a bigger role in this movie.the pain and sadness in his face along with his sacrifices is very prominent.the same goes for merry and pippin as courage shone thru them in the battlefields.elijah woods is another great stand out.he continues his descent into corruption with an incredible talent that many could not pull off.wood's performance is so critical to the film coz it determines the ring's power to corrupt.which,needless to say,is absolute.
lord of the rings was compared to the matrix.but somehow i dont think thats the way it should be.both are wonderful movie trilogies from 2 different genres,directed at different audience.so,my point is that they shouldnt be looked upon side by side,but taken as they are.rotk ends with arwen giving up immortality to marry aragorn,and frodo leaves for the grey havens in the west to live with the elves.i can sum lotr up with one word..pure and simple MASTERPIECE.kudos to director peter jackson and the entire cast!
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vanna
21:39
Saturday, December 20, 2003
in absolute shock and disgust.at a total loss for words.how on earth could ferdinand been given an 8month suspension and a fine of £50,000 for missing a drugs test?8 months is well over the top considering he has not been found guilty of using a substance of any kind.i think man utd is right in saying that this is a "savage and unprecedented" punishment.something definitely stinks here.its funny how big mouth blatter suddenly came up with his ridiculous statement a few days before the hearing was due to start.innocent until proven guilty?i dont think so.the poor guy has been guilty from day one in the eyes of the FA, immediately banning him from england duty,condemning him even before the trial started.this 8month suspension would mean ferdinand missing out the remainder of man utd's club campaign,the first month of the next EPL season,next summer's european championships and almoz certainly the first two worldcup qualifiers.the verdict is simply too harsh.i mean,there is no argument that he did miss a dope test in late sept at the club's carrington training ground.and yes,he is of course guilty,no doubt about that.but a 8month ban is insane.what did that man city player get a few mths back?a fine.a £20,000 fine.FA virtually ignored him.dammit.is FA trying to cover up for their incompetence and to show how dependent they are with respect to FIFA?why does the FA exist in the first place if they have to receive orders from FIFA's Sepp Blatter.?is the FA still a coherent, independent organisation?shame on british football.
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vanna
10:50
Friday, December 19, 2003
the first day of ferdinand's disciplinary hearing ended in a wall of silence at bolton's reebok stadium after 7h of deliberations into ferdinand's failure to take a drug test,FA representatives refused comments on the case,leaving the case which could land the defender a maximum 2yr suspension shrouded in mystery.it seems to me there is no chance of him having a fair hearing.the whole affair has been in absolute shambles and it needs to be sorted out by learning lessons from mistakes and not punishment as an example to others.a fine would be a just decision.isnt that what happened to man city player negouai..?are they treating his case differently just coz he's rio ferdinand from man utd?someone said something about deducting points from the club if the player is guilty.its simply ludicrous...
cream of e crop.has the standard risen to such a level that its highly impossible to identify them..?just one name.just one and all would be settled.did a minor calculation mistake really cost this much of a dilemma?i cant figure it out.and i think everyone would agree that its better to finish this matter off in a clean break than let the unit be pulled down as a result.always good to sacrifice one than the pride of a sch.a decision has not been reached.but how easily can their high hopes be crushed with the fate of their cca points weighing heavily in our hands.
inaccessible internet booking websites for LOTR:ROTK tickets.been trying for the whole of yesterday and today.engaged telephone service lines and answering machines.i think the operators should be shot.
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vanna
23:12
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
frenchman zidane won the 2003 FIFA Player of the Year award on monday.the third time.he earned 264 points from the votes cast by 142 national team coaches to beat off the challenges of french team mate henry of arsenal and his club mate ronaldo of brazil.completing a hat trick for real madrid following luis figo's victory in 2001 and ronaldo last year.nistelrooy of man utd and the netherlands was in 6th place,followed by becks in 7th.
no comments as of events that took place.nothing can be done since its over.high expectations should not be made.and it wouldnt come as a surprise if history repeats itself.its good enough to take comfort in the thought that at least we gave it a shot.of coz im not saying that results dont matter.they always do.but it'll just be taken as it is.afterall,there are more important things coming up.and this timemdefeat would mean devastating consequences.5 months ago,a silent vow was made that by february,the standard of the squad shall be that of the RSAF contingent.therefore there lies only one path ahead and thats the road to victory.
e CRC report was on e newspaper..insignificant changes were made..n itz a whole load of bullshit..R(Artistic) has been changed 2 R(21)..hey..tel me wadz e goddamn diff..a M(18) rating's introduced..e NC(16) 2 NC(15) was apparently rejected..s'pore's far frm a liberated n open society..n e wish 2 stay tt way seems 2 b e msg e pple r sending 2 e govt..a poll has it tt moz s'poreans r happy wif e ratings as dey r rite now..itz definitely nt a positive signal 2 send 2 foreigners..it totally defeats e aim of transforming s'pore in2 a performing arts society..snips of violent films..cuts of nudity..n ttz even though e film has oredi been slapped wif a R(A) rating..itz true tt dere is only a thin line btw arts n porn..bt i guess ttz e risk e board has 2 take if dey wan2 prove tt s'poreans r adaptable 2 changes..parents responsible enuff 2 interfere in wad deir kids watch..n lastly..tt s'pore is a civilized society..hu respects e arts...
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vanna
15:08
Monday, December 15, 2003
121303
manchester derby FT: man utd 3-1 man city.(scholes 7th,73rd;nistelrooy 34th)(wright-philips 52nd).scholes return to first team after 2 months on the sidelines.how city must have wished he had been missing in the lineup.he released giggs after city had gifted their opponents possession in a defensive mix up and booted anelka's last min header off the line.also,city seemed relunctant to pick up scholes as he was left loosely marked by blue shirts.at 2-1,city created a fair few opportunities.seaman made an excellent fingertip save to send nistelrooy's effort crashing onto the post after the striker had been set free by scholes but conceded again as scholes completed kleberson's cross with a header.Paul Scholes = Man of the Match.definitely.guess its payback time for the 4 points city took off utd last season.this match was an important victory for utd,lifting them to the top of the table.
chelsea 1-2 bolton.john terry so totally rocks at the moment!he actually deflected a davies cross into his own net with just 2mins remaining,conceding an own goal.didnt catch the match but read that ranieri kept his chelsea players in the dressing room for an hour after they lost 2-1 at home to bolton and accused them of 'losing the plot'.star players they may be,but it just seems like things arent working too well..
121403
arsenal 1-0 blackburn.so much for being a one man team.even without henry at his very best,for once a mere mortal by his own high standards,arsenal avoided the same fate as chelsea as they clawed their way back to the top of the table with a hard earned 1-0 win.bergkamp scored at the 11th min.a strike set up by toure after a lousy start by the gunners.without goalscoring powers being at their peak,wenger relied heavily on toure and lehmann who pulled a handful of first class saves.arsenal's currently at the top with a point over utd.but at least chelsea's back where they belong - below man utd.
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vanna
18:57
Saturday, December 13, 2003
beautiful islands..huh?one day,im gonna get so sick of this fucked up life and maybe i'll just jet off and disappear without a word to live on one of those islands.i like the smallest island of the lot.isolated from the rest.the other islands a little far off,yet reachable.i can lie on the beach all day,rot away,and nobody would give a damn.just live a quiet peaceful life,oblivious to happenings in other parts of the world.no newspapers to inform me of.no computers where internet's accessible.no hp either where you are easily contactable.no nothing.matbe go on a fruit diet,survive on bananas and berries.occasionally a fish or two.just me and myself on the island.not a single soul to piss me off,to interfere with my way of life.all the time in the world.lazing around all day.gimme a surfboard too..need to polish up,ride the big waves and surf my life away.i can float the whole time on water too.with the sun in the face.all serene except for the sound of waves crashing on shore.yeah.thats my idea of paradise.
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vanna
12:44
Friday, December 12, 2003
things turned out pretty well for an unexpected group.guess they didnt expect it to turn out this way either.not much practicing done.steps a little uncoordinated.yet all these small errors masked by their enthusiasm.daring and bold enough to try different things,taking a new approach rather than sticking to the usual style,modus operandi.well maybe some thing have gotta change.but all will depend on the judges.people may not always have the same view.and remember,dont think you're gonna score,coz you dont score until you score.
never judge a book by its cover.today i flipped open the thick dusty covers of the book,took a look inside,and got a rude shock.for what i expect,was not what i see - cool,calm,and collected always.who knows its a dormant volcano all ready to erupt,to blow off its top,spilling acidic lava,burning and hurting everyone in its way.a little over reacting.and a tad too sensitive.words were misunderstood.completely not the way it was meant to mean.was it that stressful circumstances caused this communication breakdown,or was it really the true side of this book?were the words thrown back acts of impulse,or was it carefully planned and meant just the way they were?comments and suggestions are all but advice.one can choose to accept or ignore it.and by no means are they any forms of criticism.and even if they were,its something one needs to learn to face and handle.internal conflicts are difficult to solve given an outsider's position.so theres no point trying to look thru the murky depths of water.perhaps this may not be the way the book sees it.but this is just my two cents worth..
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vanna
16:52
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
the thing with vacations is that by the third or fourth day,you could just do it permanently.i have a dysfunctional attachment to my vacation spots.it doesnt matter if its somewhere nearby or wherever.i find it hard to leave after i've been there for a while.the place becomes my friend and im sad upon realizing that the moment i have to say goodbye until next year grows closer.
the next few days are uncertain.as an important figure goes off for a short holiday and wont be back that soon,urgent matters are still not decided upon.the deadline in less than a week.nothing's being done at the moment.it feels a little demoralizing looking at how far the others have progressed.i wonder how things have suddenly taken on such a bad turn.the moment i returned,the situation seems to have been out of control.a drastic change from how i left it.nobody is cooperating with anybody.all wrapped up in their own world.concentrating on their own selfish needs.focusing solely on themselves.
you are darkkhaki
#BDB76B |
Your dominant hues are red and green, so you're definately not afraid to get in and stir things up. You have no time for most people's concerns, you'd rather analyze with your head than be held back by some random "gut feeling".
Your saturation level is lower than average - You don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do. Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but you schedule time as you see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if not everyone sees your grand master plan.
Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up.
|
| the spacefem.com html color quiz |
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vanna
14:33
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
03,1205
green tee,slightly baggy jeans,hazel eyes,dark hair,khaki colored backpack,6ft tall,dashingly handsome.sighted at changi airport T1 outside DFS cosmetics shops.1828h.
1945h(GMT +0800) flight.TG410.2h long flight.freezing cold on the plane.stepped out of Bangkok International Airport only to be greeted by the heavily polluted air that reeks of smoke.Eastin Hotel.room 2824.spectacular view from the hotel room.overlooking the bangkok skyline.though late into the night,traffic's still heavy as ever as vehicles race down the many expressways.numerous billboards peppered the area,street lights dotted the roads.the view was simply spectacular.
03,1206
morning market.so totally unhygienic as houseflies attacked the food.makeshift stalls set up on the roadsides.walls blackened with dirt and algae.was through and through disgusted.a faint resemblance of s'pore in the '60s.weekend market.handicraft stalls.clothing stalls.pet shops.florists.constant arguing and haggling over the prices filled the air.hot and stuffy weather.a perspiration soaked shirt.only a cool drink of ice blended kiwi and a can of coke saved me.MaBoonKrong.wonder how people shop in this terrible condition.was a thai version of the nightmarket in s'pore.narrow passageways made worst by inconsiderate people blocking the way.standing in front of the shops.deciding to enter or not.went japanese for dinner.paying less than S$30 for a meal for four in a restaurant is something you cant do back here.went back to hotel and was entertained by the newcastle V liverpool match which ended 1-1.and the leeds V chelsea match which also ended 1-1.too bad espn didnt show the man utd V aston villa match.but they thrashed the visitors 4-0.both nistelrooy and forlan scored twice.arsenal was held to a 1-1 draw by leicester.man utd closes the gap on the table!
03,1207
siam discovery center.a more upmarket place with familiar names like mambo,esprit,loft,and kipling.spent a bomb.almost half of the gifts were bought at loft.boring day.spaghetti carborona for lunch and spaghetti bolognaise for dinner in the hotel.everton V man city match was going on but was in no mood to watch...
03,1208
woke up,looked outta the window and saw the congested freeways.clear blue sky fades into an unsightly shade of gray as you lower your glance.air thick with smoke and pollutants from exhaust of vehicles.just a whiff of this deadly mixture and its enough to leave you gasping for fresh air.four faced buddha temple.unbearable smell of incense and joss sticks.colorful flower wreaths.thai dance.traditional thai music.statue of the four faced buddha's sitted in a extensively decorated pagoda-like structure.devotees kneel in fervent prayer.refusing to enter,i was left on the bench to wait,observing the place and watching the passerbys.Gaysorn mall.furla.givenchy.swarovski.gucci.louis vuitton.fendi.dior.omega.emporio armani.its even more impressive than s'pore's paragon..whoa.
1916h(GMT +0700) flight.TG401.the plane glides down the runway and lifts off.it continues rising,leaving bangkok behind until the city peeks from below the clouds,until all but a spark is left.yes,i'll miss this place.the cheap food,the cheap goods,the vibrant nightlife,and of coz the cheap barcardi,the hotel's big comfy bathroom,the omelet for breakfast..well.everything.even the heavy traffic and the reckless driving of the taxi drivers knowing it'll be a long time before i return again.i saved my journal in the hp outbox so the above may be a little incoherent.and now,i shall amuse myself as i try to clear the flooded outbox.touched down at about 2230h(GMT +0800).perhaps pressure control was not that great,the pain traveled from my left ear to the brow area to the bridge of my nose.the pain was sharp and splitting,as if the blood vessels were about to burst.
03,1209
the pain refused to go away even after 3h.
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vanna
12:52
Friday, December 05, 2003
still remember going to the same place 1.5 yrs ago. when world cup '02 was going on.remember trying to stay in the room for the matches and losing all interests in stepping out of the hotel room..remember watching the england VS argentina match in the waiting room,watching becks score the only goal of the match and then trying to get the results of the france match as soon as i got off the plane.these months passes in the blink of an eye.no soccer matches this time round except for the epl ones.what will it feel like..?it feels kinda wierd.no excitement at the thought of going somewhere for a 4day break.is it that multiple visits there have lost its appeal,or is it that there are some things here i cant leave behind...?i wonder.
memories of the incidents the past few days flooded back.some good,some bad.but mostly funny ones.the most unforgettable one being left in an utterly pathetic state,the floor stained of orange syrup and the legs sticky with the concentrated juice.passerbys stared hard,unable to believe what they just saw.taking the leftover toilet roll out and using it to clean up the mess.taking of the sandals and lifting a foot at a time in the sink to run water over it.also washing the sandals.it could have been awarded with the most embarrassing moment of the yr.o yeah..remember lying through our teeth to turn the situation in our favor.doing ridiculous things like taking out stuff from our luggage to do comparison.must have been made a luffing stock.do you realize that whenever you're with a certain person,unusual things start to happen out of the blu?good bad or simply insane,they befell on the group of you.somehow i think i've found someone of this category in my social circle.have you?
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vanna
14:34
Thursday, December 04, 2003
m&ms.the different colored candies represent the different colors of life.blue for depression,passiveness.red for anger,passion.yellow for cheerfulness,optimism.perhaps like the sunshine.green for envy,maybe jealousy.orange for friendliness,the warmth of the hearth of fire.brown for simplicity,hope.holding all the colors of the m&ms,you feel great coz you have a balance of everything.all the colors of life,you have it in your hand.you dont wanna lose it.lose this delicate balance.
| I am the Charismatic Charisma is a presence that excites us. It comes from an inner quality - self-confidence, sexual energy, sense of purpose, contentment - that most people lack and want. This quality radiates outward, permeating the gestures of Charismatics, making them seem extraodinary and superior. They learn to heighten their charisma with a piercing gaze, fiery oratory, an air of mystery. Create the charismatic illusion by radiating intensity while remaining detached. Symbol: The Lamp. Invisible to the eye, a current flowing through a wire in a glass vessel generates a heat that turns into candescence. All we see is the glow. In the prevailing darkness, the Lamp lights the way. |
What Type of Seducer are You?
created by 
polite_society
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vanna
12:51
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
its good to know that you've learned something new in just 2 days' time.never expected that something this trivial would bring such joy and contentment enough to satisfy the day alone.its weird too.to meet those people with whom you have drifted apart a long time ago..forced to play host and entertain them.not the ideal scenario i had in my head at all.petty bust-ups were swiftly settled by people either running away or compromising..wouldnt give a damn..so anything goes with me.if math reigned einstein,then anonymity must be reigning a handful of those around you and me.issue tht dragged on for 2+months was finally settled.definitely relieved.left for a quieter place early in the night in a group.amazing to see how the people you are more distant to usually actually share common thoughts and interests.sitting by the breakwaters with the wind in your face,barcardi in hand,hearing the waves crashing onshore,seeing the water seep through the sand,rising in level as time passes,not in the mood to talk,just knowing that the people you are happy with are just physically close by is comforting enough,long walks down the never ending beach,not at all bothered by the sand in your shoes,dimly lit pathways and cycling tracks,big groups barbecuing late into the night,couples making out on benches,cats prowling the litter bins,late supper,dozing off in various places,skimpily dressed women in macdonalds'.the night seemed to last forever,leaving the world in darkness.wait for the sunrise was futile as the sky was cloudy and overcast.the pathetic rays of sunlight coming through the thick clouds could have been missed had we not been observant enough.multiple visits to the same fastfood for meals in less 24h.not the perfect breakfast but it'll do.minor problem with kayak renting was quickly solved.too bad the waves were not strong enough to rock hell.must have eaten too much as the queasy feeling refused to go.thoroughly touched by a kind act from strangers who volunteered themselves aftwe appeal for help was rejected by people we thought would have gladly done so.the rain pattered on the porch and window panes,locking us in the unit..hoping it'll stop soon.feet covered with plasters as wear and tear between the sandals+slippers and skin.blood oozed out.the pain so numbing.conflicts surfaced when an unwelcomed guest appeared,obviously having changed her mind a few times.most were out after dinner leaving only a couple of souls.fell asleep on 2 chairs before the movie ended.slept little again,changing places many times..woke up on the stairs at dawn.tired out after attempting to pack..using the bag as a headrest.day3 ended with the 9 of us dragging whatever thats left over home.boarded the 1100h shuttle bus and headed off.
a surprised and shocked face stared straight in the face as the lift opened.time froze as awkwardness dripped heavily.the door closed.not seen since a few months ago.its ironical to miss someone..yet not wanting to meet him.impulsive actions and out of the blue reactions from the admirer..i do not quite fully understand this but will as time goes on.more observations to be made.yeah prolly that'll help.a puzzlement indeed for an onlooker...
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vanna
17:29
Monday, December 01, 2003
omg.this is ridiculous.man utd lost 1-0 to chelsea!lampard scored a penalty at 30mins when keane upended joe cole.damn.fuck 'em man.first of all,the player's not in control of the ball.keane definitely got a touch on it.its a major decision to make in a game of this nature.plus the fact he was going away from goal.it cant be helped though..the game didnt have the top referee so these things can happen.but it must have been hard on the players.it wasnt an easy game when they're 1-0 down.must have been terrific results for chelsea.winning games 1-0 can take them a long way,but to judge the chances of the title by this game alone is far too early.only 14 games are played.so what if chelsea's at the top of the table.its only november.if you're top in april then thats something.but then again..these are not the games you wanna lose.last year man utd won all these games so they can make a difference.meanwhile..arsenal was held 0-0 by fulham,and liverpool moved into 6th position with a 3-1 win over birmingham.
this morning's match left me in a foul mood.all the anger and unhappiness directed there left me drained of energy to do much in the following hours..even after a few hours of sleep that is.guess i shant be doing much today except lazing around.right now hoping that all will turn out fine in the next couple of days after all the hard work and planning.as expected,things have begun to fall into place.but its important to work just as hard to keep things going smoothly.in front lies 2 paths.one leading to a successful 3days,the other leading to a disastrous outcome.which of these will we decide to thread on..?
You're Cheddar, and nothing's better!... DAMNIT!
Sharp, Mild, or whatever... you don't give a
shit, you're good and you know it!!! DAMNIT!
What Cheese Are You? *warning, coarse language*brought to you by Quizilla
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vanna
10:34
