i keep losing sight of the big picture.i keep forgetting that im right where i wanna be.that i worked my fucking ass off to get to where im now.and theres no place i'd rather be.
its difficult to appreciate the present when the road gets bumpy.when the anger,apathy,disappointment, and sheer fatigue snowball and hit you right in the face,you simply feel like giving it all up.but all of a sudden you remember those days where you spent 10h at your desk 5days a week.and you ask yourself,what's another 2 more years?
nothing.
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vanna
22:39
coz we all just wanna be big rockstars living in hilltop houses, driving 15 cars.the girls come easy and the drugs come cheap.we'll all stay skinny coz we just wont eat.
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vanna
23:12
i fail to understand why people just love to speak in their mother tongue.it irritates the shit out of me.is it so difficult to speak in a language which everyone understands (ie.English)?and please.dont sell me the theory of people being able to bond better and feel a greater sense of familiarity when they speak in their own mother tongue.it sure doesnt do it for me - in fact surrounded by such people makes me feel like an alien unable to break into a social group.or perhaps for almost all of my life i've been blessed to be around people who are more or less on the same frequency as me,and if not,at least they speak English.so much so that its utterly appalling to realize that there are actually so many out there who choose to converse in their native language still.
i think i've been to enough parties and gatherings to know what is good hosting.im not talking about good drinks or music or even good company.the minimal the host should do would be to thank the attendees for coming,try to make them feel at home,and be initiative enough to introduce them to one another,no?holing up in your room and keeping to yourself sure doesnt sound like being a good host.it actually borders on the line of being rude.
its goddamn annoying how absolutely unproductive certain project meetings are turning out.you spend your whole afternoon trying to work something out only to see at the end of the day that so little has been done.you meet so many times trying to settle crucial issues only to realize that nothing much has been agreed on.it gets worse having someone trying to lead the team only that the person does not play out the role quite well.being disorganized and last-minute aside,i think one should recognize that the other members have a life outside of school unlike you.if you like to work overnight and over the weekend,you can jolly well do so yourself.
people should stop griping about how terribly they've done for the midterms when their grades are very obviously pretty darn decent.what the hell are they trying to show?that they're capable of doing better?that they should be working harder?well shut your trap coz if you wanna know what's the meaning of dismal,look at mine.
its week 9.work is piling up.the deadlines are looming.the finals are coming.i havnt the time to walk to the news vendor to buy my cleo magazine.i havnt visited my favorite websites for more than a week.i havent spoken to my friends on msn in ages.i havnt the time to get my haircut.
yes im fucking jaded.
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vanna
17:57