mayb itz true.mayb itz my fault 4 painting tt perfect picture of how thgs shld b n clinging on 2 it till now.
how do i let go? how do u even start 2 let go?
i still marvel at the fact that how some people always stay in your mind..while others simply fade away.
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vanna
15:20
mrs chan was rite in saying tt if u rilli wan smth bad enuff..u will eventually get it..coz u'll find ways n mns 2 go abt achieving ur goal...
guess who's back
back again
[vanna's] back
tell a friend
guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back
guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back..
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vanna
16:39
u noe evrythg's over when u cant even log on2 e vj website animore...
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vanna
17:42
hav u eva had such a beautiful dream tt u dun wanna wake up frm it..?u juz wanna contd slping..no matter how brightly e sun frm outside shines in..or how long e alarm clock has been ringing..or if u hav any pressing matters @ hand...u dun wanna wake up..coz u noe dere r sum thgs tt r so wonderful dey oni happen in dreams..n so u made urself believe tt as long as u dun eva wake up..u get 2 hold on 2 tt fast fading dream..so quickly disappearing..leaving u oni wif e stark reality.u wanna kip e endearing memories of wadeva ttz left of e dream in ur mind..so u cld rmb 2 perservere n make tt dream cum true..bt it vanishes e moment u get up frm ur bed...nt even given a chance 2 fight 4 wad u wan..nt even knowing wad u wan animore...finally u lose ur sense of direction.
ttz life,aint it?
was juz looking @ imood awhile ago n wondering y dey dun hav words lyk suicidal or fucked up...
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vanna
00:08
itz beyond comprehension how pple can find e 1st 3mths of deir jc life intolerable..coz 4 me..i nv thot sch life wld b enjoyable..until now.nt giving a hoot abt tutorials n tests..slping ur way thru lectures aft lectures..staring blankly @ nts n nt knowing wad dey meant..passing nts ard during class..luffing @ pple..skipping cca trgs till e coach dosent recognize u..saying mean thgs abt a particular classmate behind her back n finally when she cudden take it,she quit sch..staying in e canteen slacking..taking ur own sweet time 2 go 4 e nx class n counting e no. of steps on e way slowly..dose gossiping n bitching sessions...yes.ttz wad high sch shld b all abt.
hav u eva felt al tt energy n zest sapped out of u..leaving u wif little more den e strength 2 merely breathe..e determination u thot wld c u thru e worse of times seem 2 b fading juz lyk e lite @ e end of e tunnel..a voice @ e bac of ur head tells u 2 press on..bt u cant brg urself 2 get up coz u noe u wun wan2 c evrythg crumbling again lyk b4 no matter how hard u try...n slowly even dis last bit is taken away frm u..u find urself drowning in e deep dark depths of e waters..sinking in2 god knows whr...
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vanna
18:26
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
as if it matters how a man falls down..bt when e fall is all ttz left..it matters v much...n so..4 e 1st time in my life..im truly afraid of losing smth worth living 4.
apparently..derez dis bitch making life a living hell 4 sum current oac leaders n uniform grp pple bac in sec sch..hmmm ttz v..well,interesting.
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vanna
14:04
sum1 told me 2 carry on..simply coz e world is beautiful...n 4 a moment..i nearly wanted 2 believe it myself...only 2 realize again tt itz bullshit...illusions..vagaries of perceptions indeed.
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vanna
22:19
i'll tell u e story of emperor claudius..hu was betrayed by dose closest 2 him..by his own blood... dey whispered in dark corners n went out late @ nite n conspired n conspired bt e emperor claudius knew dey were up 2 smth...he knew dey were busy little bees...n 1 nite he sat down wif 1 of dem n he looked @ her n he said.."Tell me wad u've been doing busy little bee or i shall strike down dose dearest 2 u...u shall watch as i bathe in deir blood"...n e emperor was heartbroken...e little bee had wounded him more deeply than any1 else cld eva hav done...n wad do u tink happened den?
e little bee told him evrythg.
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vanna
17:37
