for a long time now,i've convinced myself that there is nothing worth believing in.and certainly nothing worth sweating over.definitely nothing worth dying for.but now...now...i'm not too sure.November 7,03 looms like a dark shadow ahead and as the date approaches,i feel myself falling deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole not sure at all where it will lead to.or whether i'll ever come out of it and embrace sunlight once again...
its funny isnt it?something i've been doing all the time with so much frequency that feelings are numb.and then,just all of a sudden,i feel like...feel like...i'm so...tired.so sick of doing the same thing over and over again.almost on the brink of giving up.as if i've been pushed to near point-break.as if any more of these. and i'll fall over the edge.yet...yet...a voice tells me that its impossible to give up now.that i must go on and win the race eventually.yes.fear,hope,desire.yes.they keep me going.spurring me on.
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vanna
23:10
