Wednesday, November 19, 2003
once again,the responsibilities pile on the shoulders,making the journey ahead difficult and tough.the near future bleak and seemingly hopeless and the mind starts to wander and slowly look for an easier way out.coincidentally,Mr Demoralize paid a visit,worsening the present situation and state of mind.expectations not met were excused with some amount of difficulty but finding your backup resources utterly unreliable just cant justify things.petty bust ups,cold stares,sharp change of tones..the word compromise seemed to have completely disappeared with the tense and unfriendly atmosphere.to back out now is the only way i can find out of this fucking mess now.yet at the same time a cowardly choice.choice...its all there is left,isnt it..?
only hope exists now.hope that all will turn out fine.hope that simple requests will be fulfilled.yes.hope.its the quintessential human delusion.simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.sometimes its frustrating to find yourself always trying to fit into others' shoes..to position yourself and see from their point of view while they continue to push their luck,wanting to get the best of everything.and at the end of it,they stand to gain much more than you do...wait.maybe you dont even gain.you lose.that just makes the difference even larger.
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vanna
22:06