Thursday, December 30, 2004
here it iz..thurs dec 30th,2004.e yr is quickly winding down..sch's starting soon n e time of reflection has officially set it...as we approach e end of e yr itz time 2 review wad we hav done..shld hav done n nid 2 do...when u look bac @ 2004..wad do u rmb?i tink e tendency is 2 scan e past 12 mths 4 e peaks n troughs...wad did i achieve?whr did i fail?n when u look ahead @ 2005..wad do u wanna c?achievements 2 b had?failures 2 avoid?big..happy..glorious moments?
it iz also @ dis time of e year traditionally..when people fall into 2 distinct categories...when i say 2..i mn 2 n only 2...in my 16 yrs of life on dis big blue ball of existence.. dis time of e yr is 1 whr we bcum xtremely polar...u r either e joyous..happy 2 b alive..happy 4 all e gd thgs in life..happy 4 e love n health of dose close 2 u..happy 4 e fortunate moments n happy 4 all e little thgs tt fate has placed in ur path...or u're e quiet desperation..wad did i do wrong..wad cld i hav done better..wad cld i hav done different 2 make it all better pple...
Now stop...take out e tone of positivity n negativity n rilli look @ tt...notice anythg more?e 1st has e "here n now" e other has e "then n there" ideology in it...dis is my revelation dis year i tink...i've been known..just ask anyone who has been ard me 4 more den a couple of yrs..as cynical...now im nt gg 2 deny any1's opinion of me..ttz up 2 dem nt me..but i tink if u ask any of dem dey wil always tell u i hav nv been a person hu reflects on e past wif an attitude of regret or wishing i cld change e past...tt said..dis time of e yr..n e polar attitudes made me rilli stop n tink abt myself n juz wad it is tt makes me hu im...we all hav dose thgs in our past tt we wish we cld change bt im nt 1 of dose pple hu focuses on dose issues...i've always been a person hu wld rather spend e time n energy on thgs tt i can stil change..can stil affect n can still do...in dis i've cum 2 a realization tt im nt a "then n there" person...based on tt fact i had a minor epiphany..tt im nt rilli tt cynical a person.
i've always called myself a realist n nt a cynic n now i can nt only say it bt i can actually believe it...e holz hav always been a time of reflection..n wif tt i've looked @ myself n m now able 2 start down e right path...e time has cum 2 stop wallowing in self-pity..n stop blaming evrythg on others n "events beyond my control"...
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vanna
15:14
